不被看好的幸福

台灣女生和外國男人的交往，大多都是草草收場，絕少數能有好的結果。站在女生的立場，或許不能認同我的看法，但是站在台灣男性的立場，這代表的不一定是個事實，但絕對是大部份台灣男人的期待。

如果問那些和外國男人交往的女人，為什麼要選擇外國男人，而不選擇台灣男人，答案大部份是：外國男人比較體貼、比較浪漫，一部份會說是外國人比較帥、比較猛，但只有少部份會誠實的回答說「搞不好可以因此拿到外國公民」或是「一輩子總要和外國人試一次看看」。

我不否認上面說的這一切理由的合理性，身為台灣男兒的我，也確實沒有上述的這些優點，但是讓人很不服氣的，就是連pub裡的印度人、中東人也都比台灣人有優勢，在「卡內基」走上一圈，很難不把自己當作次等公民看待，每個外國男人都人手一隻台灣妹，但是台灣男人在那裡就像是空氣一樣的被忽略。

要知道外國人在台北怎麼把妹，那就當然不能錯過最近登在台北市政府英文網站上的這一篇"Macking in Taipei"。不過，很不巧的，這篇文章太過樹大招風，只登了Introduction就被撤掉了，現在要看這篇文章也看不到了，但是為了服務廣大的讀者，我還是把這篇文章找了出來，跟那些身處台灣卻把不到台灣妹的台灣男人分享一下：

Macking in Taipei: Introduction

You're pathetic and you can't get a girl.
Don't worry?”it's a common problem. That's why so many guys in Taipei are single. Want to be the Tiger Woods of love? Want to meet your Cinderella? There is a way,　my friend, there is a way. Read on.

First, you have to trust me. I'm here to help. Macking in Taipei is here to help. Right now you are a lump of clay?”wet, limp, formless. You are a newborn puppy. You're squeaking and your eyes are shut. You are a little boy who's lost his mommy in the mall. Your cheeks are bright red and you're crying.

Follow my directions, son, and you will be a statue?”a chiseled and polished love　god. You will be a husky pulling a sled, your coat glistening and your teeth sharp. You will be a man. All of this I promise to you. Macking in Taipei is a guide to help you attract women. I will tell you all the right things to do, and all the mistakes to avoid.

Who am I? Good question. I'm the new military attached to the Department of Information. My name is John Lee. I'm Taiwanese, but I've lived in Los Angeles for the past sixteen years. I've just come back to serve my country. Am I a patriot? Time will tell. One thing I know: Sometimes a man has to step up.

You think I'm here to fool you? Wrong. For thirteen years of I've had only success. For thirteen years I've been holding my dream girl?”or dream girls?”in my arms. Failures: none. You may think I sound pompous, but I'm just honest. Anyway, you should stop thinking and start listening. Why? Because you can do it, too.

Ding, ding! Hear the bell? Class is starting. Take your seat.

看到這裡，你一定和我一樣吐血，怎麼就只寫這些而己，連要怎麼把妹都還沒開始教，就被衛道人士檢舉下架了，所以，各位台灣男士們，還是各憑本事吧！靠替代役男倒啊！（這篇文章是替代役男寫的）